Yes, I have heard the same-old, same-old platitudes
You’re only as old as you feel
Seventy-five is the new forty-five
You’re lucky to reach this stage in your life
I even say that one to myself and others
To make it ok?
Do I believe it?
On some level I do
On many levels, I don’t
I don’ t WANT to be seventy-five
I don’t know HOW to be seventy-five
Yet I don’t not want to if not being seventy-five means the alternative.
Not a good alternative.
Not a good alternative because I want to stay here for Joe
I want to stay here for my kids
I want to stay here to continue watching the grandkids as they grow into adults
Don’t I want to stay here for me?
I have to/want to feel needed/necessary
Not swept aside or tolerated by younger people who need to call me sweetie or honey or dear or sweetheart.
I don’t want to be demeaned.
I want others to know I am worthwhile and worthy of their respect
That won’t happen if I don’t recognize that I am worthy of MY respect
And don’t demean myself
I cannot do all that I used to do.
Yet I want to keep doing
I want to remain essential at seventy-five and beyond
But the numbers terrify me.
75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80
Yet, as I write them down I see that hitting 80 will take five years.
There is much I can accomplish in five years
Rather than focusing on seventy-five
How about I focus on eighty
And what I want to be doing and have accomplished by then
At eighty Alix will be 2 years out of college
Em will be a senior
Josh will be a freshman
Ben will be a high school junior
Harrison will be in 8th grade
They will have achieved so much, and I want to witness that
And I want them to have me in their lives, being there for them and celebrating and cheering and supporting and coaching
Of course, I want my children to have me in their lives to celebrate their continued successes. And, if it should happen, supporting the tough times, as well.
But what about me?
What will I be doing?
Another book? Most likely not.
But I suspect I will continue writing.
Speaking engagements? Maybe on the joys of being an old(er) woman
Bringing Murray to visit hospital patients.
Yes, I want to do that.
And I want to record One Pedal
Maybe get back into acting on some level?
I need to continue exercising, playing my guitar, singing, dancing to the music in my head and around me, loving nature.
That is the only way to achieve/enjoy/accept/understand the coming years.
Is there an “age” that has got you thinking? We would love to hear from you. Join FAB45WomensRevolution Facebook Group, there are sure to be other women there thinking about it too.