How Do You “Do” Seventy-five?

Yes, I have heard the same-old, same-old platitudes

Seventy-five At Forty FiveYou’re only as old as you feel

Seventy-five is the new forty-five

You’re lucky to reach this stage in your life

I even say that one to myself and others

To make it ok?

Do I believe it?

On some level I do

On many levels, I don’t



I don’ t WANT to be seventy-five

I don’t know HOW to be seventy-five

Yet I don’t not want to if not being seventy-five means the alternative.

Not a good alternative.



Not a good alternative because I want to stay here for Joe

I want to stay here for my kids

I want to stay here to continue watching the grandkids as they grow into adults


Don’t I want to stay here for me?


I have to/want to feel needed/necessary

Not swept aside or tolerated by younger people who need to call me sweetie or honey or dear or sweetheart.

I don’t want to be demeaned.

I want others to know I am worthwhile and worthy of their respect


That won’t happen if I don’t recognize that I am worthy of MY respect

And don’t demean myself


Seventy-five At Forty FiveI cannot do all that I used to do.

Yet I want to keep doing

I want to remain essential at seventy-five and beyond

But the numbers terrify me.


75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80

Yet, as I write them down I see that hitting 80 will take five years.

There is much I can accomplish in five years


Rather than focusing on seventy-five

How about I focus on eighty

And what I want to be doing and have accomplished by then


At eighty Alix will be 2 years out of college

Em will be a senior

Josh will be a freshman

Ben will be a high school junior

Harrison will be in 8th grade


They will have achieved so much, and I want to witness that

And I want them to have me in their lives, being there for them and celebrating and cheering and supporting and coaching


Of course, I want my children to have me in their lives to celebrate their continued successes.  And, if it should happen, supporting the tough times, as well.


At Forty Five Seventy-fiveBut what about me?

What will I be doing?

Another book? Most likely not.

But I suspect I will continue writing.

Speaking engagements? Maybe on the joys of being an old(er) woman


Bringing Murray to visit hospital patients.

Yes, I want to do that.

And I want to record One Pedal

Maybe get back into acting on some level?


I need to continue exercising, playing my guitar, singing, dancing to the music in my head and around me, loving nature.

That is the only way to achieve/enjoy/accept/understand the coming years.

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CJ Golden
Author Details
As the author of Tao of the Defiant Woman: Five Brazen Ways to Accept What You Must and Rebel Against the Rest and its subsequent book for teen and pre-teen girls, Tao-Girls Rule: Finding Balance, Staying Strong, Being Bold in a World of Challenges, CJ Golden has been writing, blogging, speaking and facilitating workshops for national and local women’s and girls’ organizations. She continues to help women and teens find joy along their life paths despite the struggles they may encounter