Dear Ms Mostly: Do I Need To Babysit My Grandchildren?

Dear Ms Mostly,

My daughter has a five-year-old, a three-year-old and is expecting another in a few months. I retired a couple of years ago, have a small side hustle and a full social life. I am enjoying my “me” time after working a full-time job and raising my kids.

Babysit Grandmother At Forty FiveI don’t mind occasionally babysitting if it works into my schedule, and I consistently offer to take my grandchildren to the park for an outing when it is convenient.

Lately, my daughter is demanding I babysit during the day. She claims daycare is taking too much out of their budget, yet they seem to find money to take a holiday out of the country once a year and pay $9000 for a purebred dog. She holds her inlaws up as examples of helping out. They take the kids one or two days a week.

I flatly refuse. She is very upset and now there are uncomfortable tensions. She says I am being selfish!

Selfish At 60


Selfish At 60,

You do not owe your daughter to babysit and are entitled to live your own life. Childcare is a job.  If you are not interested in that position, you need not apply.

For every grandparent providing daycare, there are more who are not. Statistics show about 38% of grandparents provide ongoing childcare. There is no right or wrong way to approach this.  Just your way.

Your daughter needs to get a grip. Continue to pleasantly hold your ground, love your daughter and grandchildren unreservedly, and say no.


Husband MIA At Forty Five




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Sherry Kallergis

Sherry Kallergis

Sherry loves creating and pulling together things, values her eclectic group of friends living fascinating lives around the globe, is an eloquent listener, can’t write worth a damn, but loves a great story and is a sponge soaking up new tips that will help make her (and your) life extraordinaire!

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