Help Ms Mostly! My Daughter Borrowed Money From Me

Borrowed At Forty Five
Dear Ms. Mostly

Dear Ms Mostly,

I am thinking about doing something about the money my daughter borrowed from me and I can’t sleep! I gave my daughter (and her husband) sixty thousand dollars for a down payment on a house. Then they borrowed a further fifteen thousand so they could clear off some debt and start a business.

That was four years ago, and I haven’t seen a cent. They seem to be doing fine and just bought a new vehicle. They live a block from me and never mention anything about repayment. The last time I brought it up they didn’t speak to me for three months.

I am thinking of filing a suit against them.

Moaning over money



Woah, Nelly! Before you get on that high horse of siccing lawyers on your family, ask yourself this: What’s more important to you? Your daughter or your money? I’m assuming you don’t need the money to prevent you from eating cat food on toast and are pursuing it “on principle”. If the gift and loan have really put you in dire straits, then tell them that.

From what you say, the original amount was a flat-out gift so it would be churlish to ask for it back. Sadly, as Mr. Mostly and I have learned over the years, any loan must be documented and signed by all parties, especially family! It makes terms clear to everyone at the outset and prevents the kind of sleepless nights you are currently enjoying.

I would like to remind you of the old adage, “no good deed goes unpunished”, a cynical take on life but there we are.



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Ms. Mostly mostly knows it all and if not, she is on the hunt to find the answer for you. Married, divorced, and married again with a blended family, she comes from a place of knowledge. You will appreciate her practical, no-nonsense approach to any problem you may have, including those you CAN'T tell anyone else. She is mostly willing to lend an ear but be prepared. Ms. Mostly has an unsettling knack for getting to the heart of the problem with incisive wit and efficient brevity. If you’re being an ass, she’ll tell you.

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