Help Ms Mostly! My Retired Husband Disappears Every Day

Dear Ms Mostly,

Borrowed At Forty Five
Dear Ms Mostly

My husband recently retired and he disappears all day. He gets up and leaves in the morning, comes home around 6:00 and if I question him, he takes off again. He teases me and asks if I want to go. When I say yes, he laughs at me and walks out the door.

I work one or two days a week and pay for my car, my gas, my insurance, and my phone. If I need clothes, jewelry, any home decor, and toiletries I pay for them. We have my elderly mother with us too but her expenses are minimal. Yesterday, he said I am not doing enough around here, yet he isn’t doing anything. My husband owns the house so I feel quite vulnerable.  I can’t seem to get through to him. I am lonely and heartbroken.


I never recommend splitting up honey, but your husband is a big jerk (I am being polite) and cruel. Marriage is teamwork, it takes two to make it work. Let him know how you feel. It may bring him to his senses.

If not, then you need to take your life back. If you are not being treated lovingly as a woman and a partner in life, see a lawyer and find out your rights. Depending on your circumstances and where you live, the law says you own part of the house too. The same with his retirement income. Get a plan in place. You can change the locks and have your soon-to-be-ex served at the doorstep at 6 pm without coming in. Let your lawyer take care of it all. Be strong, find some things you like to do and start doing them. Life is too short to be miserable.


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