Are you living by someone else’s rules? Have you ever put on an outfit that you looove and think “I love it,” but then the little voice kicks in, “What will people think?” and you take it off?
Why? Why did you take it off? You loved it, but that little voice whispered into your ear, and you let it rule you.
Here’s the deal: We pick up things along the way. They become the rules we live by. We don’t even realize we do it. Have you ever asked yourself why you live by them? Where did they come from? Are they really your rules or are they someone else’s? Are they based on what you want or what you think others want?
Rules keep us safe; some are necessary, some are just plain stupid. The one I had for years is that big girls can’t be athletes. This is something I told myself for a long time. But I have broken that rule; I proved it wrong before Christmas when I lifted 400 lbs. I realized now how stupid it was, no one ever came out and said it to me, I just picked it up along the way.
What rules do you have in your head? You may be thinking, “I don’t have any,” but I promise you, they are in there.
Stop and make a list and it will surprise you how many you have. When you start looking at them, you let them go and stop trying to be something you’re not. By the way, that outfit – that was the real you – the voice needs to shut up! When you choose to embrace different, you are able to step out of your comfort zone – because this is where those rules keep you. Your comfort zone may be an outfit, sharing yourself with others, letting your clients seeing a different side of you. When you start to change the rules, you get an entirely different result. You can’t connect with others when you are pretending to be something you’re not and those rules, they are not yours.
We are who we are: all our parts – good, bad, and messy. Put together, we are perfect. Stupid rules are just getting in the way of us being us.
So let’s start dealing. Download this worksheet on how to get that process started. Please reach out to me if you need any help.
Go out there and kick those rules to the curb!