The concept of self-love is popular nowadays, but it is easier said than done. Especially for women. It’s my experience, most women know they need more self-love but have no idea where to start. If you are a beginner, this idea might be overwhelming but fear not! You will get better at it once you start living and practicing it.
Acknowledging it is the first step toward building a great relationship with yourself, so congratulations on deciding to make a change.
Here are 5 steps to consider:
Decide you will make self-love a top priority starting now.
- Write it down in your notebook to make it more official: I, (include your name here) will love myself more from now on! I deserve to be loved by myself, I am enough and I am loveable.
- When you make this decision, don’t worry about the how. If there is a will, there is a way, and the how is going to unfold itself as you start practicing self-love on a daily basis
- Be patient with yourself as this is not going to happen overnight. You have lived for decades with negative self-talk and not being there for yourself. It will take time to break the habit and build a new one that serves you better
Dig deep: What does self-love mean to you?
- How do you know you are practicing it? How do you know you are not?
- Listen to your inner talk: Do you talk to yourself in a kind and loving way? Would you say the same things to your best friend?
- Do you put others first and usually you forget about yourself?
- Can you say no when you really want to say no or it is very hard for you?
- What do you think about the concept of self-love? What did you see in your family?
Take a disciplined approach to practice self-love.
- As with every new habit, it takes discipline to change it. Look at your daily actions and ask yourself: is what I am going to do take me closer to loving myself or further away? If yes, proceed. If no, do something else.
- Practice, practice, practice. Self-love is a long-term way of living and not what we do once in a blue moon. The destination is less important than the pathway; the realizations, the learning process, and the journey itself.
- Be careful about comparing your journey to others. We are all different, with different backgrounds and pasts.
Use a cheat sheet to practice your self-love routine.
- Pick an affirmation for the day! Write down positive words, a phrase, or a quote. (Read more about affirmations here)
- Choose a reward for yourself. Do something nice for yourself like going for a walk, taking a relaxing break for 10 minutes, enjoying your favorite coffee. You know best what you need!
- Write down five things you love about yourself! What makes you wonderfully you? You are amazing. It’s time to admit it. Don’t be shy!
- Write down 5 things you are grateful for. Small or big is equally important.
Never underestimate the importance of small steps.
It’s better to start with micro-actions that don’t overwhelm you, instead of doing absolutely nothing.
We often think self-love is selfish. Women, especially have been conditioned through generations and it is hard to shake the guilt off but it’s time. Think of your daughters and teach them through your own example that loving yourself is beneficial to everyone around you.
You will become more loving to others when you love yourself. You will be more successful in your career and less resentful as you set up your boundaries. It will change your way of being a mom and become more patient. Your tolerance level will grow as well as your self-awareness.
As you create positive changes for yourself, these changes are going to affect others too in good ways. You are giving permission to everyone around you to become authentically themselves as you are becoming more yourself too. After all, by loving yourself you are contributing to a better world. Please do it for yourself and do it for us! Be part of the global movement to practice self-love. We all will thank you.
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